Ok this blog is not all about love. But apparently these kinda topics attract the most attention. And on top of that, Fana really like to think deeply about these issues. So here goes...
As told by Fana, we actually talk about finding the right person on our way back from our meeting. Well, she started the discussion. Haha. Anyway, in my point of view, you would not be able to know for sure that the person you are with is the right one for you until you are not together with her. What I mean is that only after you broke off the relationship with her only then for sure you find out that the person is not the right person for you.
So how do you find the right person then? Well, you can't really find the right right person for sure but you can actually filter out your candidates and come closer in meeting the right right right person. For me, how I actually carry out the filtering process is to use a little bit of imagination.
Firstly I imagine bringing her back home and showing her off to my family. I imagine how my parents will react and especially how my nenek will react. She is very picky you know. Maybe it's because I am her favourite cucu.
Secondly I imagine introducing her to my group of friends. It is not to see whether my group of friends accept her but mainly to see whether she can accept the "Sekapur Sirih" (that is what we call ourselves). Haha...
Thirdly, I would imagine myself growing old with her. I don't imagine her looking old, of course! But the feeling of growing old with her.
But is it always about what you want? Is it always about you? As much as you are looking for the right person, it is also important for you to be the right person for that someone.
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Well, you can't really find the right right person for sure but you can actually filter out your candidates and come closer in meeting the right right right person.
I agree. But different people have different ways of doing this. You use your imagination first. I do that second, after I go out with them for a "trial run" so to speak (ie we go out a few times).. if you feel that he's the right person for you, yay. if he isnt,then have the strength, backbone and pride to drop him like its hot and move on.
Of course there are people who might label you a player. But I dunno, to me, I'm the one who's gonna be spending the rest of my life with this person, insyaAllah. Should I not be given the space to make my choice?
But is it always about what you want?
Yes it is. If you stayed with someone because they love you, even if you dont love them as much, it'll be a sad existance. Worst case scenario would be the pent up frustration might cause bigger explosions. Even if you do end up caring for that person, you might always be thinking "What if.. what if..." and in the words of our maestro here (ie him, not me), we shouldnt play the what if game. lol. And well, you always want love to be a 2 way thing.. even though usually it's a 60-40 thing more than a 50-50 thing.
So how DO you know that such and such person is Miss/Mr Right and not Miss/Mr Right Now?
Nak tau what i think?
*DRUMROLL*
YOU DONT! hahaha.. by elimination, by gut feeling, by the way their hands fit in yours, how their eccentricities and/or weirdness echos yours.
You'll never know FOR SURE. You just have to trust yourself and work on things. Never be afraid to move forward even if youre takut nak mampos. And also, NEVER be afraid to say THATS IT.
my humble thoughts. (yang panjang lebar)
Hehehe.Of coz i will comment on this! :)
Actually,filtering might be good and bad at the same time.I mean,what if you just get to noe the girl on the surface and decided to filter her out.
But what if.What if.There is more to her.That she didnt share or open up to u cos maybe she's not super close to u YET. (since u decided to filter her off haha).
Then,u'll be losing out on the true material she's made of!Paham tak.
Firstly.When u marry,YOU marry her.Not ur nenek.Haha.Imagine if u sayangggg sangat this girl and bring her hm.Sekali ur nenek cakap muke die cam hantu.You cant just throw her out cos ur family hates her. Kan.Sungguh tk logic sih!
Secondly,everybody loves sekapur sirih! Haha.So that shud nt be an option for filtering out.Haha im serious! Like,who can hate u guys? :)
Thirdly,how can u imagine what growing is like when u havent grow old.Its like,how can u imagine the taste of arak when u have never taste it b4?Like,u have NO freaking idea what it feels/taste like kan.Same thing. So what more important is how u feel with her when u are with her at that moment rather than getting old.Haha.
Like,when ur out with her,do u feel tt other ppl ard u doesnt matter.Like you just want to talk to her and mcm you dont pay attention to things ard u.
Like,u can talk abt anything and everything and feel no reservations at all.
Ohwell.Yah this comment is getting tooo long.Its like an entry! I shud be friends with syikin ah.Since we are loyal commenters with longer-than-hafiz's-post-comments :)
hehe.. I made my comment here my blog entry.. It is after all my thoughts on the matter. and I think hafiz secretly loves the attention heh heh heh.. It's a two way thing for me: he gets entertained by my comments and I get entertained by his entries.. kan fun..
Oh and trust me, there ARE some people who find sekapur sirih a bit too exciting for their liking lol.
When u marry, YOUmarry her.Not ur nenek.
hehe.. INGAT TU FIZ!
Psst: it's Shikin btw.
Haha yes fana. Firstly, she will marry me and not my nenek. But I also do trust my nenek's taste. Ultimately, I would just rather have a girl friend that my nenek would be proud of. Wldnt you Fana?
And secondly, as said by shikin, not everyone like to be around the Sekapur Sirih. You have not seen us being 'us' just yet. And thirdly, I do mention a little bit of imagination. Of course I wldnt know how it feels exactly being old. But imagine... Just imagine...
I was bloghopping (far far away) and i chance upon this entry archive.
So i shall just link and let you read.
http://greenmoneypenny.blogspot.com/2007/04/5-golden-rules-for-finding-your-life.html
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